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Saturday, August 6, 2011


There is a lot of talk these days about allergies in children. The stats and increases over the last 10 years are really astounding. They can cause anaphylaxis, hives, and other symptoms. I can attest to how challenging having a child with allergies really is.

I've listed Jack's allergies below, reading the symptoms may help you diagnose your child too.

1. TiVo-intolerance
Symptoms: Waking during the night and screaming every time my husband and I press play on a recorded show that we have been trying for weeks to watch.

Cure: Stopping said show, hugging, rocking, and repeating until you have spent 3.5 hours watching a 60 minute show that you cannot remember what it was about anyway.

2. Mommy Sitting Aversion
Symptoms: Playing perfectly quietly alone until mommy decides to sit (even to fold clothes) then deciding that just won't work. Pulling on mommy's shirt until she gets on the floor and plays. In early infancy this can present as sleeping peacefully in mommy's arms until she sits down out of sheer exhaustion then screaming like a crazy person until she stands back up.

Cure: Stand the hell up all day.

3. Mommy Getting Ready Sensitivity
Symptoms: The sound of the running shower, blow dryer, and the opening of mascara, all cause immediate use of the word "up" followed by screams if need is not met quickly

Cure: Stay dirty and ugly until reinforcements arrive.

4. Room Leaving Hypersensitivity.
Symptoms: The melting down of toddler self into a screaming puddle at the site of either parent exiting the current room said toddler is in. (unless said room was filled with cookies, milk, and movies) But sadly we do not have a cookie, milk, movie room.

Cure: There are two ways to alleviate this problem. Leave quickly before your spouse in a “tag you’re it” approach or sneak away when he is enthralled with attempting to feed the cat a carpet fiber. This should postpone screaming for 1-5 minutes depending on your luck that day. Really depending on who is luckier, you or the cat.

The doctor assures me that he will grow out of his allergies. (And continues to refuse to write me a prescription) She believes by the time he is ready to leave for college, most if not all of these will be behind us. Fingers crossed!

Serious Note: All you parents struggling with real allergies, I commend you. Those are challenges with very serious risks. Good luck managing the issue and I hope (like my nephew did) your children grow out of them.

1 comment:

  1. Yet another amazingly funny post that brings back those happy, really in a few years you will recall these as happy, memories of when our 2 boys were small like J.
    Keep em coming Danielle, you are so gifted:-)